courtesy flush

"here is sit so broken hearted. tried to $h!t but only farted. here no longer can i linger, look out @$$hole, here comes my finger," grandpa.

when g-pa first said to me i was amazed and shocked...but this morning i realized what he meant. let's just say i was "relieving" myself and it took a slightly longer time than normal. so after a short while of "contributing" i did a courtesy flush. a short while after my initial flush a man entered and sat in the stall next to mine. we have a few stalls and he could've easily separated himself by sitting a few doors down. anywho, he starts ripping them out, i hear "stars falling from the sky" along with gas escaping. i almost start to laugh at the comical sounds when it hit me. BAM! We aren't talking about a Emeril-type "Bam" indicating the addition of garlic. the smell was quite putrid and HIGHLY offensive, to say the least. this constant outpour continued for several minutes until i left the facilities. however, after washin my hands and escaping the "scents" i ran into a manager, who prob. thought i destroyed the restroom....how awkward.

i mention this not to gross anyone out, but to introduce what seems to be a foreign concept, the courtesy flush. the courtesy flush is used, not to create the often distracting swishing of water in the toilet bowl sound, nor to waste water (we recognize the golden state is filled with eco-freaks), it is used to remove stale excrement, so the odors don't permeate throughout the stall and surrounding areas.

imagine a person who leaves a few "floaters" behind, not only is the sight quite repulsive, the smell inevitably spreads like an STD. now if this notion holds true (which it in fact does) the same can be applied to the several minutes a person engages in such reckless activity.

i realize this is a dog-eat-dog society, where everyone is out for themselves. disregarding the potential health hazards you pose to others, sitting above a bowl filled with "goodies" will marinade throughout your own posterior as well as your clothes.

so everyone out there who is reading, do yourself a favor and more importantly, do others a favor by practicing safe flushing techniques. protect yourself by courtesy flushing.
a message from your friends at the department of bowl sanitation and chivalry.

the return of chivalry

last week i was followin a man out da front door of our office buildin. instead of pushin da door or even attemptin to open it fo me...he narrowly escaped the closin door, as it shut. so i pushed da door open and walked out...

i didn't think anythin of it...until i saw da same man dis yesterday. he had a computer bag and was carryin a few folders (wif bof hands). i had about da same (a computer bag, my lunch, and a folder). as we approached da door (he could've easily carried da folders wif one hand) he said, "you have more hands than i do" and expected me to open da door. so i balanced my lunch on the folders and opened the door.

i did...but thought "what a punk!"

dis guy must be sum sort of creapy germ-a-phob or sumpin.

whateva da case...chivalry is on da decline.

da same man was well ahead of dis woman dis mornin (as dey was approachin da front door) he purposely slowed down so she could get in front of him and open da door.

granted there are TONS of OCD/hypochondriacs, etc. who don't wanna touch doors, etc, but kick da darn handicap button if das da case...or wash your hands.

what da heck is wrong wif dis guy?

well my friends...it's time for the return of chivalry!

men and women alike must come forth and reintroduce kindness and courtesy to the world.
one person and one good deed at a tiine!

who is wif me on dis?

cheers!